


Excerpts From The Diary Of Alex Krycek

by ladymidath



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-05-07
Updated: 2003-05-07
Packaged: 2018-11-20 09:49:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11333331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladymidath/pseuds/ladymidath
Summary: Excerpts from the Diary of Alex Krycek





	Excerpts From The Diary Of Alex Krycek

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

Excerpts From The Diary Of Alex Krycek

### Excerpts From The Diary Of Alex Krycek

#### by Lady Midath

  


Date: Monday, February 24, 2003 7:57 PM 
    
    
         Excerpts From The Diary Of Alex Krycek
         By Lady Midath  
         Pairing: M/K sorta
         Rating: PG
         Archive: To the usual gang plus whoever else wants it
         Status: Finished
         Category: Humour
         Summary: Excerpts from the Diary of Alex Krycek
         This is for Shawn who could really use a laugh
         Disclaimer: Nope don't own any of 'em and I am still waiting
         on my application to adopt my Alex Krycek Clone to be
         approved. :-)
    

* * *

Excerpts From The Diary Of Alex Krycek 

Mon 8th 

Got out of bed and had breakfast. Not much to eat, just some corn flakes. I like cornflakes. Note to self, buy more milk. Cornflakes tastes horrible with stale beer. 

Got a call from CSM, wants me to stake out Mulder. OK, I don't mind, think M's a hottie anyway. Just hope he doesn't catch me staking him out and ends up punching me. He always punches me. _Sigh_

Mon 8th, later 

Mulder caught me staking him out and punched me Mon 8th, much later Note to self, need more antiseptic cream and bandages. 

* * *

Tue 9th 

Decided to pay a visit to Skinner today. Threatened him with nanocytes. Nothing else to do since my playstation's broken. Skinner torture is more fun anyway. 

Ugh, fake beard is itching like crazy, it always leaves a rash. Great now I'll be walking around looking like I have the measles. Terrific. Still it was worth it to be able to hassle old baldly. 

Tue 9th addendum 

Never turn your back on a pissed off Assistant Director to scratch your chin. 

Note to self, need more bandages and some aspirin as well. 

CSM called again, wants me to follow Mulder and Scully to some godforsaken place. God when is he going to smoke himself to death. Ha probably never, all that tar and nicotine has probably petrified his insides, preserving him forever. _Ugh, shudder at thought_. Crap, better get a move on. Note to self, call neighbor and ask if she will take care of cat, houseplants and goldfish. 

* * *

Thurs 20th 

Well that trip turned out to be totally sucky! Note to self, never never NEVER follow Mulder and Scully into dark dank scary looking caves. How does Scully put up with it? 

Cat and houseplants okay, goldfish really glad to see me. _smile_

* * *

Fri 21 

How the hell did Mulder find out that I followed them into the cave???? 

Fri 21, later 

Nothing on tv, bored, bored BORED!!!!! Played with cat and goldfish for awhile. 

Note to self, buy new goldfish. 2nd note to self, never play with cat and goldfish together at the same time. 

* * *

Sat 22nd 

REALLY BORED! Might go and check out what Mulder's doing. 

Sat 22nd, later 

Sat in car waiting to catch Mulder coming out of his apartment. Didn't see him. Still bored. Let's go see what Scully's up to. 

Sat 22nd, much later 

Saw Mulder go into Scully's apartment building. Hmmm, interesting. 

Sat 22nd, even later still 

Watched Skinner head up to Scully's apartment. Now this is just weird. 

Still Sat 22nd 

The Lone Gunmen have just turned up. Now this is enough to put me off my popcorn with extra butter. 

Sat 22nd, will this day never end? 

Pendrell has just turned up, I don't want to know what's going on up there anymore. That's it, I'm so outta here. _Shudder_

* * *

Sun 23rd 

Oooohhhh, hangover, going back to sleep. No wait, might have that dream about Scully, Mulder, Skinner, The Lone Gunmen and Pendrell again. 

Sun 23rd, morning 

CSM called, wants report on Mulder. Huh, he wants a report on Mulder why can't he get out of his smoke filled office and go do it himself. Clean air would probably kill him Ha. Someone should pump oxygen into his office and choke him with some fresh air. Note to self, find out cost for tank of oxygen and drill. 

* * *

Mon 24th 

Went grocery shopping today, hate grocery shopping!!!!!!! Some little old lady with blue hair went to grab the last packet of chocolate cupcakes. I grabbed them off her and she attacked me with her walking frame. Some old people shouldn't be let loose in public. Good thing I stocked up on bandages. 

Mon 24th, later 

Played with new goldfish, have decided to call him Pinky. God I need to get out more. I think I might go and search Mulder's apartment, I'm out of new porn tapes anyway. 

Mon 24, evening 

How was I suppose to know that Mulder was at home because he was suspended from the Bureau for entering unauthorized caves? Creep caught me going through his collection of porn. Had some really good ones too. Dawson's Crack, How Deep Was My Anus and one I haven't seen before, Backdoor Boys. Ended up watching them with him, weird how he kept accidentally dropping his hand into my lap. 

* * *

Tues 25th 

Gave CSM report on Mulder, cranky old sod. Blew smoke in my face, nearly barfed all over his horrible brown suit. What is the deal that suit, it's almost as bad as his hair. 

Tues 25th, later 

New shopping list. 
    
    
         Cornflakes 
         Milk 
         Twinkies 
         Oreos 
         Antiseptic cream 
         Bandages 
         Cat food 
         Plant food 
         Goldfish food
    

Think that's everything, oh yeah, and more adhesive for fake beard. 

* * *

Wed 26th Really weird, got a call from Mulder, wants me to come over and watch some more porn tapes with him. Oh well got nothing better to do. 

Wed 26th, a little later 

Mulder called back to tell me that he called Skinner and invited him over as well. Didn't think Skinner was into porn, oh well. Might be fun. 

Wed 26th evening 

**NEVER AGAIN AND I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!**

* * *

Thurs 27th 

Mulder called and apologized, said that he didn't think Skinner would come on so strong. Wants to make it up to me. Well, okay then, long as he leaves his boss at home, or better still, a zoo. _shudder_

Thurs 27th, later 

**WOW!!!!!!**

Thurs 27th, much much later 

Too tired to write, addendum to shopping list. 
    
    
         Lube, super large size 
         Condoms, ribbed I think 
         Whipped cream, _yum_ 
         Body paint, chocolate _oh yeah_
    

* * *

Sat 5th 

Finally managed to get home, _moan_ going to bed, need sleep. Adding to report for CSM that Mulder's an animal. Made date to see him again tonight _grin_

* * *

Sun 6th 

Swear that man's going to kill me with sex, still too tired to write. 

* * *

Mon 7th 

CSM called on my cell phone, wanted to know where I was. When I told him heaven, he got all weird and hung up. Oh well, who cares. Oops, Mulder's waking up. Now where did I put that lube? End of entries in Alex Krycek's diary 

Footnote, the names of the porno movies I got from Queer as Folk US and a couple I have actually seen in adult shops. Okay, okay, I admit it, I go into adult shops. One day I might even get up the nerve to buy something. LOL 

* * *

When you sell a man a book, you don't just sell him a couple of pounds of paper, ink and glue, you sell him a whole new life.   
Homepage http://www.geocities.com/ribrice Group homepage http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ladymidath If you would like to join my update list, please send an email to   
  

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